#1 – Welcome To My World/You Do WHAT??

Picture it: I walk down the street on my way to get a cup of coffee downtown. Long wool coat, thick designer glasses, hair neatly styled, plain black high heeled boots, I blend in with everyone around me. I stop in to grab my caffeine fix because although it’s afternoon, I’m barely awake. The woman behind the counter makes the usual small talk with me as she brews my drink. As she sets it in front of me she asks, “so… just getting off work?”

I smile back at her politely. “No, actually, I’m not due for another couple hours.” I pick up the coffee, nod at her confused expression and walk off after dropping a couple of singles in her tip jar.

Business men and women give me “the nod” as though I am one of them, hung out to dry from today’s drudgery at the office gearing up for the long commute home. I let them think that. Otherwise I’d get the inevitable question, “you do WHAT??” Well I’m going to tell you.

 

I do what I have done for the last 12 years. I’m a sex worker. Currently back in the exotic dancing game, switching it up from sensual massage again. I need to do that to keep myself sane sometimes, as every job in the business has its own unique challenges and the business can be so personal, I’ve found it helpful to change what aspect I’m in from time to time. I’ve been in nearly every angle of the business from my beginnings as a peep show girl, to a dancer, dancer manager, lingerie model, professional dominatrix, professional submissive, agency escort, independent escort, sensual touch provider, and the sometimes coveted “phone girl”, booking appointments for others in “the biz”.

 

On the flip side, I’ve also worked in the computer industry, the bar scene, office administration, restaurants, general entertainment, sales, the mortgage industry, and as a freelance writer. I can hold my own in conversations with everyone from high-powered business executives to the homeless guy that lives around the corner. I have many interests in business, science, mechanics, architecture, travel, history, and the arts. So why do I do it you ask?

Well, many reasons. Mostly freedom. Schedules are usually flexible, allowing for a vacation on a whim, time to schedule a new class, time to spend with friends and family. Time to write. Time to explore what life has to offer. And the money’s not bad either.

But a more interesting aspect I think that most people don’t always talk about is working in the sex industry allows me a certain freedom of sexual expression that’s not always readily available in any other format.

When working I get to be someone else. Some other aspect of me that usually hides. Every name I’ve worked under a new character. Phoenix, Alice, November, Angela, Charlotte, Carrie, Rachel, Faith, Athena, Lucy, Juliet, Luna, Scarlett, Janice, Ivy. Just to name a few. Change your job, change your name. Fresh start. Pick a trait. Am I sweet? Smart? Mean? Dominating? Accommodating? Regardless of what I pick, one thing I know is, I’m SEXY. I let it radiate off of me. Act in ways I could never act in the office. Flirt shamelessly and walk away. Call someone names. Talk dirty. Touch yourself if I want to. Sit however I want to. Lounge around like a cat. No having to keep my legs crossed like a lady, or adhere to the rules of societal decorum. Any way I want to “put it out there” I can. And someone will love me and pay me handsomely for it.

Times when I’ve taken a break, sometimes it is precisely the above reason that draws me back in. The old exhibitionist inside of me comes calling and I once again want to feel myself spinning around a pole in a pair of platform stilettos, sexy as I want to be, free to act out in a place where it’s expected and rewarded.

The sex industry is no easy place to be. I’ve found difficulties and pitfalls galore over the last decade, many of which I will write about here, especially the issue of dealing with these aspects while still maintaining a life outside of it, but this is just an introduction, and one of the first things I wanted to do was to begin to break with stereotypes about what kind of women do this work, and eradicate the idea of “smart girls don’t…”

Because I’m here to tell you,

Smart girls do.